Happy 7th Birthday Zachary

     I look out the window again, finding Zach diligently tossing the ball repeatedly to Aspen. Neither one has shown the slightest bit of fatigue over this latest game of fetch that has lasted well into the late hours of dusk. While he tries to squeeze the last bit of activity into this, the busiest day of the week, I am trying my best not to climb into bed. Both of us waiting on Mike to get back home.  

     As every birthday goes in our house, we begin the day with hugs and kisses, a birthday plate left out for the special day piled with whatever the birthday boy desires for breakfast. It was a school day so, of course, two dozen cupcakes are delivered to the classroom and a loud, unharmonized version of Happy Birthday is sung by his peers.    I am humbled by how much Zach is loved by his classmates and teachers who all have wished him well today. 

     After school, we piled into the car and made it to daddy's work where, yet another birthday cake and chorus of Happy Birthday is sung to him by the office staff and his siblings. Mike looks so proud showing off his son to his patients, who stand out the doors of their rooms peeking out at the raucous going on. I see Mike whispering into Zach's ear and see how our son's face lights up with whatever the two have shared. They are always thick as thieves these two. I feel with every day that goes by my son is drifting farther and farther away from the little boy I loved to hold in my arms each night. Now, he is growing into a little man that wants to be just like his dad, dress like his dad, hang out with his dad, play video games with his dad. I am the "in between" parent. The one who gets hugs in between running out of the house, or getting a bowl of popcorn from the kitchen, or walking back to his room to finish homework. I am the afterthought of daily activity, yet, I know that he loves me just the same because he never lets the "in between" moments seem meaningless. He knows I need a stronger hug than his dad, a longer kiss, a warmer smile. How can I complain that he is becoming more independent. 

     Daddy arrives home and a deafening ring can be heard in the house as seven children scream with excitement as he enters the house. I love this scene, it never gets old. It is a rock star welcome and Zach is the president of the fan club. I'm taken back by  how long my son's legs appear as he get's a piggy back ride into the house. Where did those chubby little thighs go? When did they get replaced by the long sinewy muscles? When the initial excitement dies down we manage to eat dinner and have the last birthday cake of the evening but I notice Zach hasn't touched his slice. I'm sure he is probably in a sugar coma by now. The kids give him their gifts which seem both comical and yet so touching. Zach holds each gift as if it were made of gold, mesmerized at their craftsmanship, he doesn't miss the opportunity to thank them and hug them, making sure each sibling knows how much he appreciates them. I feel tears threatening to come but I shake them away. He's seven, I remind myself, not seventeen. 

     Finally, when the babes are put to bed I see those two buddies whispering again and smiling. I little pang of jealousy hits me but I ignore it. I know he will come say goodnight to me before he goes to bed. I go to my room to get ready for bed and find that Mike and Zach have followed me in. Both still smiling from ear to ear. 

"Go ahead, tell her," Mike says. 
"Tell me what?" I ask. 

     Zach walks towards me and from behind his back he pulls out two pieces of cake and hands them to me. "For my birthday, dad is letting me sleep in your bed tonight." I look up at Mike who is looking at me knowing without my even saying a word what my heart is  singing. 
"This is really what you want to do, Zach?" 
"Are you kidding, mom? Cake in bed, a movie with you guys. I've been asking dad for months." 

  I can't remember who jumped in bed faster but I think it was close. It may be seven years since I gave birth to this boy who is quickly becoming a man but tonight he wants to still be my baby. Why would I complain. Hours later, the TV is off, the room is still and I can see my son's sweet face in the moonlight. He is a little bookend to my husband lying just across from him. I can't help but smile at the sight. I stretch out and am about to roll over when I feel Zach's arm wrap around mine as he snuggles in to me. Now, in the dark, when no one is around, I let my tears come. Whether they are tears of joy or sadness I do not know, I'm too tired to diferrentiate them. All I do know is that I am grateful. So grateful my heart could burst. 
Happy Birthday Zachary, my sweet boy. I love you to pieces.