Friend Therapy

     My friends Natalie and Susan came to visit me this past week. We had not seen each other since medical school and/or Hurricane Katrina had displaced us all from New Orleans to different parts of the country. To say it felt like no time had passed is incorrect. It felt like we were put into a time machine and were transported back to our individual teen years. Yes, we were acting so immature that my nine year old daughter said she could hardly believe we were all older than twenty.(Thanks for that Eva) What we lacked in maturity we made up for in comic therapy, DIY informative conversations,spiritual pow wows. When I last left these girls, they were fresh out of the new wife and mother stages of their lives. It was interesting to see the spectacular women they had become since we last spoke. 

Still a cheerleader

     When I first met Natalie I thought to myself, "Self, this is never going to work out." We had an age difference of almost 9years( I the older), and Natalie was an ex cheerleader. I think for most folks this goes without an explanation but I will elaborate for this blog. Natalie was and is spirited, always chipper, positive, outgoing, pretty, petite, with a head full of incredible hair and has a cheerleader accent that has been imitated to death on such movies as Bring it On and Clueless. I on the other hand, was...not a cheerleader. 

     On my first encounter with Susan, I said to myself, "Self, this is never going to work out." We too had an age difference but not as comically ridiculous as Natalie but close. And Susan gave off a very New England, Kennebunkport with the Kennedys, vibe. I also think this needs no explanation but here I go. Susan is a human gazelle. She is fine featured, alabaster skin with light blue eyes, she seems quite refined, educated and incapable of cracking anything more than a soft smile at first blush.I felt I was measuring way beneath her interest level. And in order to be her friend I needed to have good posture and a background check from the Secret Service. 

Susan's humor will leave you bellyaching

    I am glad to say that for the one and only time in my life, I was wrong. And I am even more grateful that they made the move to reach out to me.Natalie is a conundrum. She is still all of those things I mentioned but she is also deeply nurturing, spiritually enlightened and intelligent. Susan is refined and lovely and better than me still but she has one of the most wickedly dry senses of humor I have ever had the pleasure of coming in contact with. These two kept me on my toes with verbal jabs the whole weekend and I also found myself keeping a notepad filled with all the morsels of information from child rearing to home decoration that they had to offer in spades. 

     This weekend was, for me, therapeutic, cathartic and just plain fun. It also left me analyzing just how blessed I am to have more than one good friend in my life. 

    Growing up my family relationships resembled the show Game of Thrones (minus the incest) more than the Brady Bunch. Love and praise were conditional and if you made a mistake you would be punished with psychological punishment or banishment. It still exists today but now I am a grown woman able to just walk away but at those formative years I thought there were only two kinds of relationships people could be in: Defensive or Offensive. For anyone who has experienced this, you know life can be exhausting wondering every day if you are worthy enough to be in the inner circle or out, if you deserve a final rose or not. Heavenly Father first showed me unconditional love from my very select group of friends. And the first time I actually heard someone verbally tell me that they would love me with all my thorns and scars, that no matter what I did, they would be there, was from my husband's lips, shortly after we had met. It was life changing.  

     

Now I am still slow to make friends. I am leery of people's agenda's. Years of conditional affection can do that to you. But I am a fierce friend to have on your side once you cross into my circle. And most importantly, I have been told that I am fun. My friends are also quite fun as the pictures can attest too. No one takes themselves too seriously but it doesn't mean that we are not serious people. We have opinions that differ but it won't cost us our friendships. And we have love to spare for each other and our families. It is never ending as I know Heavenly Father's love is for me. 

     Now I would like to remember some of the pictures from our weekend. And thank all of my friends, near and far, for all the love and laughs that keep me going. 

Carlos loved him up the ladies.

Natalie was not pleased with her turn down service

Learning Jiu-jitsu is part of all girl's weekends

Susan was lethal. Mike has two broken ribs.